What follows is some great brittish show prep from the weeklyfix.com

Material
LINER OF THE WEEK

  HEARSAY MILLIONS

HEARSAY are all now officially MILLIONAIRES - but it WON'T CHANGE THEM...

...they'll still be crap...

LINERS FROM LAST WEEK

  ASYLUM ANGST

THE FRENCH said that we need to make Britain LESS ATTRACTIVE to ASYLUM

SEEKERS...

...we just need to start showing FRENCH TV...

________________________________________________________________

NYPD NIGHTS

Brit Kevin Keaveney has spent FORTY SIX HOURS watching NYPD BLUE.  He admits that he started to have HALLUCINATIONS...

...at one point he even thought that it was quite GOOD...

...LOADS MORE OF THESE ARE AVAILABLE TO YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT!  - PLUS OUR 'ONLINE GAG-SEARCH' - SEARCH THROUGH HUNDREDS OF LINERS TO FIND A GAG FOR ALMOST ANY NEWS STORY!   www.theOnlineFix.com  !!!

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEKEND

15 September 2001

Prince Harry  (17)  - Prince Charles' Son.

Jaki Graham  (45)  - British Singer - 'Step Right Up', 'Breaking Away', etc.

Tommy Lee Jones  (55)  - US Actor - 'Men in Black', etc.

Oliver Stone  (55)  - US Director - 'JFK', 'Platoon', etc.

Graham Taylor  (57)  - ex-England Football Manager

Margaret Lockwood  (RIP)  - Actress - 'Lorna Doone', etc.  Deceased.

Agatha Christie  (111)  - British Detective Novelist - Poirot, Miss Marple, etc.

James Cooper  (RIP)  - US Novelist - 'Last of the Mohicans', etc.

16 September 2001

Tina Barrett  (25)  - S Club 7  (singer)  -  'Don't Stop Movin', etc.

Justine Frischmann  (32)  - Elastica  (singer)  -  'Connection', etc.

Richard Marx  (38)  - US Singer - 'Right Here Waiting', etc.

Stephen Jones  (39)  - Babybird - 'You're Gorgeous', 'Bad Shave', etc.

David Copperfield  (45)  - Illusionist.

Alan Barton  (48)  - Black Lace  -  'Agadoo', etc.

Mickey Rourke  (48)  - US Actor - 'Nine & Half Weeks', etc.

Lloyd Grossman  (51)  - TV Presenter - 'Masterchef', 'Through the Keyhole', etc.

Russ Abbott  (54)  - Comedian - The Russ Abbott Show

Bella Emberg  (64)  - Comedienne - The Russ Abbott Show

Peter Falk  (74)  - US Actor - Columbo.

B B King  (76)  - US Blues Singer - 'When Love Comes To Town', etc.

Lauren Bacall  (77)  - US Actress - 'Misery', etc.

Henry the Fifth  (RIP)  - King of England

SUNRISE & SUNSET (UK)

This week in the UK...

...the Sun rises at about 06:40 and sets at about 19:06,

giving you approximately 12 hours and 26 minutes of Daylight.

 CURRENT TOP 10 UK SINGLES (until 16/09/2001)

01 (-)  MAMBO NO 5 -  BOB THE BUILDER

02 (-)  STARLIGHT -  SUPERMEN LOVERS

03 (1)  TOO CLOSE -  BLUE

04 (3)  FOLLOW ME -  UNCLE KRACKER

05 (2)  LET'S DANCE -  FIVE

06 (-)  TWENTY FOUR SEVEN -  ARTFUL DODGER FT MELANIE BLATT

07 (7)  LET ME BLOW YA MIND -  EVE

08 (6)  21 SECONDS -  SO SOLID CREW

09 (8)  TAKE ME HOME - SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR